Princess Fiona & Shrek

A lot of people think that the reason why I’m not in a relationship is that I’m looking for that one perfect guy who will sweep me off my feet and love me till death. That I want “till death do us part” and the words “forever”. That I actually consider myself a princess in this neverending fairytale of happily ever after. Actually, I don’t. When someone asked me why I still don’t have a boyfriend and why I remain single till now my answer has always been “As corny as it may sound, I want to fall in love. Is that too much to ask?”

Being single, doesn’t mean being free from heartaches. Believe me I have plenty of those, coupled with regrets, indecisions and embarrassing mistakes. I have tried to be happy with someone once, but it didn’t work out. I now refer to him as “ex-someone” since he was never a boyfriend but someone I’m kind of in a “relationship” with. I have experienced the kilig moments, the excitement, the loneliness, the jealousy but sadly, not love.

Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I am asking for trouble and more disappointments. But I’m not in a hurry. I’m not going anywhere and I don’t want to get tired of trying it out with someone I’m not sure I’ll fall in love with. I am not looking for someone smarter, stronger, kinder, cuter or whatever “er” there is. I’m not even looking for someone. I’m looking for love, not someone to love. I’m looking for the emotion, not the person.

And if I end up alone in my quest, at least I won’t leave a trail of broken hearts and promises. The only promise I have is for myself, and I can sure deal with broken promises.

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