I have always prided myself as being “one of the boys”. And I consider it a privilege to be accepted by this elusive and complicated species as one of their own.
The closest friends that I have since childhood are all males and I have known them for more than 20 years.
My friendship with these guys have always been simple and straightforward - we like each other’s company but we leave each other alone.
In my younger years, being the only girl in our group, I would always be mistaken as one of their girlfriends. A fact I did not really mind since my friends are all decent and decent looking (especially when sober) guys.
However as we grew older and matured, that role turned into a mistress. Whether I was downgraded or promoted, it’s up to you to decide :-). See related post here.
My closeness with these guys can be attributed to not having any male influence at home. I grew up without a dad in a house surrounded by an influential and meddling mother and 3 other clingy and emotionally charged sisters.
This made me look for an alternative relationship which has less drama and more adventure.
And what an adventure it was.
There were moments where you serve as their main adviser especially in matters concerning family and lovelife. How to deal with their younger sister? What to give their girlfriends?
Being the only girl also makes you their favorite topic of jokes – wholesome or otherwise. Which makes for a good training on how to handle bullies. Good thing that I also get to give them back some without them being pikon and sensitive about it.
Then you become their official lady companion to important gatherings like weddings, graduations, reunions, etc. Concerts and plays are OK, since you get to see them for free.
And of course, the part where you bail them out of trouble, assist in stopping a fight and provide anger management advise.
But the most complicated would always be the possibility of attraction. At one point in your lives (around high school mostly) you look at your friends as the ideal person you want to spend your life with. They are funny, dependable and comfortable to be with. And you decide to try to take it to the next level. Some succeed and for other cases, including mine, it doesn’t work out.
But what I love about it, is that guys don’t take it personally. Sure, it would take sometime for them to recover, but when they do, it’s as if nothing happened and you’re back to being their best female buddy. No reservations , no hard feelings, no regrets.
And they don’t get too emotional about these things. They accept rejection as a natural part of life and move on.
And for lucky ones like me, this will lead you to experience the best friendship you can ever imagine.
They become your greatest defender. So they joke about you, big deal. But no one outside your circle can really say anything unfavorable about you within their hearing distance without getting punched (OK, so they are a little violent, but hey…).
They are your best though awkward cheerleaders. Not allowing you to cry for more than what is required and never permitting you to feel like a victim. Though be ready for some beer to go with the pep talk.
They are very good listeners. They listen without the urge of telling a sob story of their own. And they stop and tell you when you don’t make any sense.
They are frank and straight to the point. No tiptoeing on your fragile emotions – just cold, hard truth. Which is probably what anyone needs to hear at any moment.
They are warm, generous and caring creatures (when they want to be). Never letting you down and always being there when needed.
And once you get the awkwardness out of your previous attempt at romance, these guys would likely prove to you that they can be the best thing that ever happened to you, without any strings attached.
And that my friend is the reason why you should keep one around.
Note: Image from Elitedaily