Skip to main content

Princess Bitch

We all live in a delusion that life is a fairytale.  That falling in love is the be all and end all of our existence.  Afterall, you are destined to find that someone, get married, have children, grow old and have anniversaries.  Movies say so, songs say so, even your harpy gossip-loving married female neighbor seems to think so.

So why don’t you?

I recently read an article by Terry Macmillan (bestselling author and writer for Mad Men, thrice divorced btw) listing the reasons why you are not married.  Here is the link:

And while the reasons (you’re a bitch, you’re shallow, you’re a slut, you’re a liar, you’re selfish and maybe even not good enough) may be true, it hurts to hear it from a woman.

Did she really think that the only reason we can’t find love or get married is because there is something wrong with us?

Forget that some men are liars, cheaters and quite simply commitmentphobe.  Forget that the word “marriage” is a sure fire way to make men avoid you like a flu.  Forget that lots of men has the “love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude” and that half of the failed relationships we know of are caused by... men. 

Of course I have to accept that as a human, I have been one of those at some point in my life.  I’m not an angel, but I’m sure that being shallow/bitch/selfish (and I smell some double standards here)  in some situations is not the reason I’m single.

There is nothing wrong with my current status.  In fact, there’s a rightness to it that women, who seem to think they can’t exist alone, can’t seem to grasp.  

What the article is saying is that we are alone and probably lonely because we are unsuitable.  And the underlying message here is that, we don’t deserve it.  Our attributes (too ambitious, translation “bitch”) are utterly unlikeable that men won’t even consider taking us seriously.

Which I think is a whole lot of wrong.  My mother never taught me to be strong, determined and confident  just to play needy with some guy so he can like me.  I don’t need to tone down qualities and values that I have been instilled since childhood (loyalty, independence, etc.)  and that I have worked so hard to develop just so I can fit guy’s idea of a meek and sensitive girl. 

And I certainly don’t need Terry Macmillan telling me so.  I just hope that she has much more better things to do than telling women like me to change and follow society’s expectation.

And I know that life is not a fairytale.  Prince Charming ain’t on a horse and galloping to my rescue.  But I can sure dream about it.  How else would I survive my boring romance free existence?

Let me end this one with a quote from recently single, Demi Moore:
"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.

There's the subtle dig to Ashton that says “I’m leaving you because while I have been faithful to this marriage, you have not”. 

Clearly, this is one failed relationship where the fault lies with the guy.  Way to go ex mrs.kutcher!


Popular posts from this blog

The English Patient

There are movie lines...

And then, there are "the movie lines"

The English Patient is one of my all time favorite movie.  It stars the oh-so-mysterious Ralph Fiennes as Count Almasy (who incidentally is also a real person).

It is based on a novel of the same title by Michael Ondaatje (which is also one of my fave writers).

Michael's writing can be described as "imaginative and whimsical."  He likes to write stories about the ravages of war and the interesting people living it.

He also writes about relationships and betrayal.
 "Betrayals in war are childlike compared with our betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire." And of course, love.

This movie has "the movie lines" to die for.

Almasy to Katherine:  "Swoon, I'll catch you"
If only this statement can be trusted. If only guys are all like this in real life.

My Bestfriend's Wedding

I hate weddings because it’s one of those times that I am reminded of my solitary existence. See related post here.
Which is why I do not understand fate’s insistence that I become a bridesmaid four times over and maid of honor this time around.

This time was a friend’s wedding.A much deserved celebration fora couple who has gone through so much.

I was made to give a speech as a Maid of Honor and I guess in my haze and hunger, I talked about friendship, made some jokes and such.I know I talk a lot but my thoughts are clearer and much more meaningful when written, so I’d like to put a much more meaningful message here:

Dear Cha,

I wanted to find out when we became friends so I searched thru my email to find some clue. I learned that you first emailed me July 2007.About the practicum arrangements which was a requirement for our Master’s.  This started a series of long conversations - on love, life and laughing moments.

How time has flown.Back then, we were so eager to learn, to go back to sch…

Barrio Fiesta - A reunion

I am proud to be a part of a family that values its family heritage. It has been our family tradition to hold a grand reunion every 3 years. For me, this signifies a commitment to stay in touch and get to know one’s relatives. Reunions provide us a sense of belonging as well as offer a chance to look back at our family history. It is a great time for the elders and the younger generation to meet and spend time together.

Last April 10 and 11, our family held their grand family reunion at Candon, Ilocos Sur.  It was a star studded event participated by relatives from Baguio, Manila and other provincial locations. Even those living abroad flew in to celebrate this event. 

The Manila chapter (mostly the Medina side) were in full force consisting of our dear Nanay Naty and 6 of her children, several grandchildren and even great grandchildren.

The theme for this reunion was “Barrio Fiesta”. Participants were requested to be in their best Filipino attire and those who did not follow were fined…