Skip to main content

Is there something wrong with me?


In an ideal world, we would all be self-assured and confident women.
 
We won’t have moments of extreme self doubt stuffed with uncertainty and distrust.
 
In reality, most of us can’t shake the feeling of being inadequate. Or the fear of being found out to be incompetent than what we appear to be.
 
I do feel this.  A lot of times.
 
And there is actually a term for this – Impostor Syndrome.
 
According to Wikipedia “impostor syndrome” is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments.
 
They feel undeserving of their success and believe themselves to be incompetent.
 
This is fairly common among women.  Women who feel that they do not belong where they are and don’t deserve the success that they have accomplished.
 
The term originated from a 1978 study of Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes of 150 highly successful professional women in various fields. In this study,  they found out that  “Despite accolades, rank and salary, these women felt like phonies.  They didn’t believe in their own accomplishments; they felt they were scamming everyone about their skills.”
 
But how do you differentiate between being overly critical and just being realistic?  Between being overconfident and knowing your limitations?
 
We all, at various moments, doubted our skills just as we believed ourselves to be just lucky in certain situations.
 
Is this a way that we, as women, are underselling ourselves?
 
Why are we so afraid to claim our achievements?
 
There is a classic example which a woman tries on a pair of pants that no longer fit and she says, "I must be getting fat" while a man tries on his ill-fitting pants and states, "There must be something wrong with these pants."


We tend to believe that anything that goes wrong is due to us, while men believe the contrary.
 
Guess who gets to sleep better at night?
 
Maybe we need to think more like men in this aspect and claim our achievements as a result of our own hard work.
 
Ladies, I hope this gives you something to think about.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The English Patient

There are movie lines...

And then, there are "the movie lines"


The English Patient is one of my all time favorite movie.  It stars the oh-so-mysterious Ralph Fiennes as Count Almasy (who incidentally is also a real person).

It is based on a novel of the same title by Michael Ondaatje (which is also one of my fave writers).

Michael's writing can be described as "imaginative and whimsical."  He likes to write stories about the ravages of war and the interesting people living it.

He also writes about relationships and betrayal.
 "Betrayals in war are childlike compared with our betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire." And of course, love.

This movie has "the movie lines" to die for.


Almasy to Katherine:  "Swoon, I'll catch you"
If only this statement can be trusted. If only guys are all like this in real life.

Singapore

Singapore is so much like Makati -- tall buildings, fast people & talkative Filipino yuppies. Not so much sights but then again, we were there to overspend on pasalubongs and go retail shopping. I don't want to brag, but between here and Manila, Manila wins hands down (on my own standards). :-)



Our hotel was located at Orchard Rd. and it has (thankfully) Starbucks at the groundfloor. We went down one night only to realize that coffee (as with cigarrettes) is so much more pricey there.

Athough, I must say, the air is worth breathing and the streets are super clean. Thank God for countries who respect the rights of non smokers to nice, clean air.

March 8: International Women's Day

International Women's Day is celebrated across the world on March 8th each year. The day is about celebrating the vital role women play in enhancing economic security for their families, communities and countries as a whole while recognising that significant barriers to achieving women's economic security and equality continue to exist.
To know more about it, follow this link: http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

Just want to share this quote to all the ladies out there: 

A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on. 
- Unknown