Skip to main content

Awkward is the new Outcast

I don't really remember being socially awkward.  In fact, I have always taken pride in being a witty conversationalist since I love to poke fun at other people and myself.

But growing up, strangers would always think that I am mataray or suplada.  Maybe because I tend to be very quiet and abrupt with people I do not know.  And I've always hated that they let this impression get in the way of us getting to know each other.  I cannot count the times when people have told me "akala ko mataray ka, di naman pala".

So I can only imagine how socially inept people dread social situations where they are thought of as rude and snobbish even when they are not.

And that is called "dyssemia".

According to the internet, Dyssemia is a difficulty with receptive and/or expressive non verbal communication. It basically means inability to interpret and use non-verbal skills.

It comes from the Greek dys (difficulty) and semia (signal). The term was coined by psychologists who wrote the book "Helping The Child Who Doesn't Fit In", about the hidden dimensions of social rejection. 

For adults, it may be the cause of one's awkwardness or the feelings of being an outcast. Much like dyslexics who do not readily process written language, sufferers of dyssemia cannot readily understand nonverbal messages which would make them seem dense and insensitive.  Which is just so sad.

So the next time you are in a gathering and you see someone rooted to the curtain at the corner of the room, go them, smile and chat them up.  They may just be a tad shy or they have isolated themselves because they have dyssemia.  Either way, do your share and help.

On a funny note, do you that there is a test awkwardness?  Go click on this link and find out: 
Awkward Timer


Popular posts from this blog

The English Patient

There are movie lines...

And then, there are "the movie lines"

The English Patient is one of my all time favorite movie.  It stars the oh-so-mysterious Ralph Fiennes as Count Almasy (who incidentally is also a real person).

It is based on a novel of the same title by Michael Ondaatje (which is also one of my fave writers).

Michael's writing can be described as "imaginative and whimsical."  He likes to write stories about the ravages of war and the interesting people living it.

He also writes about relationships and betrayal.
 "Betrayals in war are childlike compared with our betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire." And of course, love.

This movie has "the movie lines" to die for.

Almasy to Katherine:  "Swoon, I'll catch you"
If only this statement can be trusted. If only guys are all like this in real life.

My Bestfriend's Wedding

I hate weddings because it’s one of those times that I am reminded of my solitary existence. See related post here.
Which is why I do not understand fate’s insistence that I become a bridesmaid four times over and maid of honor this time around.

This time was a friend’s wedding.A much deserved celebration fora couple who has gone through so much.

I was made to give a speech as a Maid of Honor and I guess in my haze and hunger, I talked about friendship, made some jokes and such.I know I talk a lot but my thoughts are clearer and much more meaningful when written, so I’d like to put a much more meaningful message here:

Dear Cha,

I wanted to find out when we became friends so I searched thru my email to find some clue. I learned that you first emailed me July 2007.About the practicum arrangements which was a requirement for our Master’s.  This started a series of long conversations - on love, life and laughing moments.

How time has flown.Back then, we were so eager to learn, to go back to sch…

Barrio Fiesta - A reunion

I am proud to be a part of a family that values its family heritage. It has been our family tradition to hold a grand reunion every 3 years. For me, this signifies a commitment to stay in touch and get to know one’s relatives. Reunions provide us a sense of belonging as well as offer a chance to look back at our family history. It is a great time for the elders and the younger generation to meet and spend time together.

Last April 10 and 11, our family held their grand family reunion at Candon, Ilocos Sur.  It was a star studded event participated by relatives from Baguio, Manila and other provincial locations. Even those living abroad flew in to celebrate this event. 

The Manila chapter (mostly the Medina side) were in full force consisting of our dear Nanay Naty and 6 of her children, several grandchildren and even great grandchildren.

The theme for this reunion was “Barrio Fiesta”. Participants were requested to be in their best Filipino attire and those who did not follow were fined…